Jon and Kate - Can This Marriage Be Saved?

The number of viewers of the TV show “Jon and Kate- Plus Eight,” doubled this week. It is no wonder, since tons of media attention has focused on this reality TV family as they begin their fifth season on TLC (The Learning Channel). In case you don’t know, Jon and Kate Gosselin had a set of twins and later sextuplets. The show is about the daily struggles of this young couple as they face the challenge of rearing their children. The reason for all of the extra interest is that rumors of the couple’s marriage being on the rocks have been confirmed. Details vary, but many sources say the troubles include infidelity. Most recent reports say that TLC has pressed them to get counseling if their contract is to be extended.
Our purpose here is not to get involved in the details of such, but rather to remind us of what is involved in marriage and child rearing and to think about how to save a marriage.
First, let’s be reminded that God meant for a marriage to be permanent. Jesus was very clear in Matt. 19:6 when he said, “what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Troubled marriages can and should be saved. Recent times have shown that many are quick to give up, often going from one marriage right into another, only to find the same problems repeated over and over again. A few suggestions for solving your problems are:
1. Quickly give attention to trying to solve difficulties privately. The problem should not be aired on TV, Radio, Facebook, My Space, or in your circle of friends, even in your family. Usually, the more private a problem remains, the easier it is to solve.
2. Couples trying to solve their problems should do so prayerfully, carefully, lovingly, and unselfishly. Christian kindness, patience and other virtues are very necessary here. Problems are never solved by seeing who can out-shout, out-glare or stare, and out-mean the other.
3. Look to God’s word for guidance. There is great value in asking oneself, “What Christian principles apply to my situation?” This is of greater importance that saving face, preserving pride, or guarding position.
4. Use a great deal of introspection, instead of inspection. In other words, look at yourself first. If you are only 10 percent of the problem, try to fix that part first, before working on your mate. Remember what Jesus said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matt 7:3-ESV).
5. If you cannot quickly solve the problem between the two of you, seek help from a trusted advisor. Sadly, some call a divorce lawyer before seeking spiritual counsel. An elder or preacher, a Christian counselor, or a trusted older Christian with marital experience will likely be the best source of help. It may be best not to use your Mom or Dad, or a close friend at this point. Sometimes people very close to you have a hard time looking at situations objectively. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. These people will want to help and will keep your problem confidential.
6. Realize that all marriages of any length have some rough spots. If only those marriage lasted that were perfect, none would survive.
7. Do not ignore problems, but try not to blow them out of proportion. Don’t focus on a problem exclusively and failing to take into consideration other good points of your marriage. It is wise to make a list of the positives so you can keep your perspective and not be too negative. Are you seeing the half empty part of the glass and ignoring the half full part?
8. Anger makes problems larger. So does speaking hurtful words that you may later regret saying. It may be a good idea to put write down your problem and what you want to say to your spouse. Read it a few times and ask yourself how you would feel about it if you were in their shoes.
9. Do consider your children. In hearing about Jon and Kate the last few days, I have wondered about the “Plus eight.” Have they been forgotten? They are the ones who will suffer most if this marriage fails. Children should never be brought into problems for leverage, and their interest should come first. Remember, no matter what the outcome of your marriage, your children’s father or mother will always be your children’s father or mother. You can best teach your child to respect their parent, by setting a good example
10. Pay primary attention to your faith during this time. Sadly, some Christians begin to neglect worship attendance, Bible reading, and prayer during stressful times. They limit association with Christian friends and those that could best help them. The church is not a place for perfect people, but people that are trying to grow in Christ. He should always be, not only our focus, but our life. Paul said, “For me to live is Christ.”(Php. 1:21). Put him first now and always.

“And they lived happily ever after” is a phrase often used in fairy tales and seen as something magical that many marriages are blessed with. There is no “marital magic,” but there can be success and happiness if we are willing to work and sacrifice to make it happen. David Courington

Alex Graduates- A Good Sermon

In my own mind I don't see myself aging, but in looking at those around me, I must be. Especially troubling is that now days, "babies" are graduating from High School and I realize that 18 years have quickly passed. My nephew, Alex(0n left in picture), has been a great joy to all of our family ever since he was born. He is graduating from Pleasant Grove High tomorrow night at the Alabama Theatre. I affectionately call him Aubie because of his love for Auburn football. He has another great love, and that is his Lord. Alex is going to Freed Hardeman in the fall and plans to preach. In fact, he is already preaching and doing a wonderful job. Last Sunday night, He and Landon Wylie preached at Sylvan Springs and did a great job. You can hear this lesson at our church website(Landon's lesson is first)(www.sylvanspringschurchofchrist.com.
Congratulations Alex Courington.

Special People- Special Day

Yesterday was special. I had been telling Mom if she got a little better I would take here out for a time. She is still frail but able to walk a few steps now. Yesterday afternoon I called Cherry Hill and the nurse said she was having a good day so I told her I was going to come and we would go to Billy's shop in Graysville and get her hair done. She was excited, as you might expect, not having been able to do much of anything for months. We made the trip well, got something to eat, and went back. As you can see from the picture of her and Billy, she is looking good. Her 80th birthday is coming up on June 20th. She is such a special person.
Another of my special people, first grandchild Addi, had her last day of kindergarten today and yesterday was her closing program. She is a dear little girl and it is hard to believe she is already finishing kindergarten. Congratulations Addi.

Leslie and Sally on the Lose

Chasing animals can be great exercise, and I have been getting more than I bargained for lately. Yesterday, I finally got 2 goats. We affectionately named them Leslie(the white one), after our niece, and Sally(the tan one), after a dear friend. I paid $35 each for them from Mr. Varner in Mulga. He has quite a few goats, maybe 20. I have wanted some goats for a long time to help clean off some of my 9 acres of overgrown weeds and brush. For several weeks I have been reading and working to get an electric fence finished to put them in and built a small shed to shield them from the weather(they don't like rain). Well, one of my bargains wasn't so much of a bargain after all. I bought a new(in the sealed package) fence charger from Odd Lots Hardware(a great place to shop in Hueytown). It was supposed to charge a fence for 20 acres. Well, I had no more got the goats in the fence than they got out. They touched the fence and didn't seem to mind so I knew something was wrong. My tester showed it was charging. Well, it wasn't charging much and soon died completely. James Copeland, my neighbor, brother and friend, came out and helped me herd them back to the house and he checked the fence and it wasn't charging at all. He had an spare charger. We hooked it up and they were still in there this morning, so I'll keep my fingers crossed. I think the one who got the most out of all of this is Susan. She got a dose of medicine laughing at me. She would have really enjoyed it if she hadn't been sick. Hope you are feeling better, honey. I'm sure I'll be posting more about this adventure later.

Bandit On The Lose Again

Hard to believe I haven't blogged in so long. Well, a good way to start catching up is to revisit an old topic. One of the first things I wrote on this blog was about Bandit, our Border Collie, getting lose and having to chase him down. He stays in the back yard in a fence, so when he gets out he is a wild buck. Friday the A/C repairman came and had to get in the back yard. Bandit was penned up on the poarch for his visit. The repairman told me to turn the air on and when I went inside, in spite of my best efforts, Bandit slipped past me and off to the races. He marked the entire area first, then went back and forth running as fast as he could. He would not even pay attention to me calling him. I think I saw a grin on his face as he looked at me standing there with my rope. I knew he would wear me down, so I decided on wearing him down instead, chasing him on the lawnmower. He went to three houses, that had dogs. He took a trip down the middle of Shady Grove Road(busy highway) as if he owned it. Then he settled in at a house that had a fence with at lease 10 ankle biter dogs. He circled the fence several times, with all the littly yappers following him around on the inside. This included a stretch right through these folks newly planted garden. The lady came out of the house in her gown and was very kind. She grinned too, as Bandit circled the house and I kept trying to get him to come to me, to no avail. After a while she walked out into the yard and said, "Come here, Bandit" and he went right to her. She held him for me til I could get the rope on his collar. I walked him home, then went back to get my mower. Whew. Never let anyone tell you that dogs are loyal to their masters. I feed him every day, water him, pet him, buy him dog biscuits and treats and what do I get- heartache. He's a good dog!